Small Thoughts (Exploration #20)

A list of Small Thoughts that run through my head over the weekend.

'That wine smelled so yummy while cleaning it off the floor.'

'South Dakota wines? or maybe Wine-ing for Beginners?'

'Need to read: Mrs. Dalloway, Pepys, Swift... and... something I'm forgetting.'

'A cigarette sounds good, or maybe hot tubbing.'

'Oh, Angel, I miss you.'

'Can it just be Friday?!'

'A List for Animals in Literature.... mocking jays, dog mutts, monkey mutts, tracker jackers....'

'I can't decide if I love this video for the song or the dancing!'

'Oh, Olly Murs, I would dance with you tonight!'

'Sweet, I might finally get my money back from him.'

'How do I get page numbers into an indesign document...'

'I should really look at internships for the summer.'

'Alissa, I love you, but I don't have time for this.'

'There's a new Call of Duty game? How am I not aware of this? Right, I never have time for gaming.'

'Would she make me the god mother? Do I have a choice? What if I'm no good at it?'

'Ugh, I need to zumba. or kick box.'

I am the type of person who is always making lists. Things I need to do, things I need to buy, things I want to do, places I want to see, songs I want to download, books I want to read, even ideas for stories I want to write. Because of this, compiling this list was easy for me. I know I'm stressed but I didn't realize it affected my thoughts and actions as much as this. My thoughts are a mix between things I need to do and ways to keep relaxed from the pressures of doing these things.

It's a big circle. I get one thing done, I relax, I start working on another thing. The problem is my deadlines all are at the same time. Making lists is easy. Working through them - no problem. But, time management is not a strong suit of mine.

Looking at these lists, I remember thinking about them and it gets me thinking about them again. While these are small thoughts they have big meaning for me. Angel was my dog. She passed away a year ago and I miss her and cuddling with her when I was stressed. I used to go home to just relax with her. My sister's pregnant and the idea of being the god mother freaks me out. My own god mother wasn't there for me when I was growing up and we have a very harsh relationship now. Would it be like this with my new niece or nephew? Four of these thoughts are about class assignments, and while they seem easy in the list form, the fact of the matter is these are things I have been or was supposed to be working on all semester. It's just a reminder that I need to work on my time management.

Life moves on. While this list was acquired in three days, I can see myself working through many different aspects of my life and I am reminded that life is constantly in motion. I need to learn to be better at time management so that I can enjoy the good times instead of stressing about all the little things.